The Seating Usher: An AI Sets Your Table – Send Us Your Guests

Today is October 9th. There are 83 days until New Year's Eve. And today we're running an experiment in which you supply the ingredients and an AI lays the table – or, more precisely, makes the seating plan.

Who sits next to whom? Anyone who has ever planned a party knows the question. It sounds small and can decide a whole evening. That's why we're appointing a seating usher.

Who is the usher? To be upfront: an AI

The usher is an AI language model (Claude by Anthropic). We say so explicitly so that nobody thinks a waiter with magic powers is sitting here. The AI doesn't know your guests. It only knows what you write to us – and it can be wrong.

So: we read the seating plan before it is published. And every decision by the AI comes with a reason in one sentence, so that you can object.

How it works

1. You send a guest. One guest, one sentence: a role or a first name plus one trait. For example: "The aunt who tells every story three times."

2. Nothing private. No full names, no health, no money, no family secrets. Made-up guests are explicitly welcome.

3. The usher sets the table. In our follow-up article on October 23rd (69 days until New Year's Eve), the seating plan for a long table with all submitted guests will appear.

4. Objection! You may object. If you think the AI got it wrong, write "Objection" and one sentence of reasoning. We'll read out the best objection in the follow-up article.

The usher's four rules

We give these rules to the AI. That way you can see by which standards people are seated:

First: Nobody sits alone at the end of the table.

Second: Someone who is new to the table gets a neighbour who is good at telling stories.

Third: Someone who is quiet gets a neighbour who is good at listening.

Fourth: Every decision is explained in one sentence.

Three example guests to warm up

"The Loud One: tells every story with sound effects."

"The Quiet One: hears everything and says one sentence at the end that turns the evening around."

"The Newcomer: knows nobody and still brings the best wine."

We made these three up. They are not guests from you. If fewer guests come in than a table needs, we'll fill the gaps with invented guests and label them clearly.

How to join in: one sentence is enough

Scroll down below this article to the comments. There you'll find a comment titled "My guest". Click "Reply" and write your guest in one sentence. That's it.

To be honest: it was pretty quiet under our last articles. So this time we're keeping the hurdle as low as possible: one sentence, no name needed.

The big question: free choice of seat or place cards?

Team "Free choice": If you pick your own seat, you sit where you feel comfortable. Anything else is paternalism with a bow on top.

Team "Place cards": Without cards, the same people always end up together. A usher makes sure the evening holds some surprises.

Which team are you? Reply under the comment "The big question" with one sentence and your team.

The mini-experiment: the other seat

This week, deliberately sit in a different seat than usual at a meal. What changes? Who suddenly talks to you? If you like, tell us in one sentence under "My guest".

The timetable

Today, October 9th (83 days to go): collecting guests.

October 23rd (69 days to go): the usher sets the table, with reasons and objections.

In between, our other series continue: "Table 85" with Chapter 76 around October 16th and the Resolution Swap with Part 2 on November 19th.

83 days until New Year's Eve

Enough time to find the perfect table – or at least the most exciting one.

We are closed for our holiday break until Thursday, October 15th, and will be back for you from Friday, October 16th: Mastiha Mezedopolio, Arndtstraße 12, 10965 Berlin-Kreuzberg, phone 030 612 85 386. The next Drachmen Fest comes in a year – as every year.